If love is surrender then whose war is it anyway?

November 28, 2010

My hair was long and magenta, now it’s short and violet. I am … i… i don’t know. i just am.  my life is defined by laughing and then sobbing into my bowl of Cheerios.

He’ll miss me- not my love but the taste of my blood.

“Try and stay out of your head, I have seen you invent the damndest things there.”

love gets quiet
love gets loud
but you make it a battle cry

Yeah it’s about that time, that you contact me to make rhyme and reason of what we did. Don’t clutter your head I’m fine, Don’t clutter your head it’s been some time, and I’m fine. I should know better by now, than to pick up that goddamn phone, but I don’t. Strange it’s almost been a year. And you sound so sweet, you sound so sweet to me.- greg laswell

we were like lovers from the moon


drink a cup of chai, smoke, crawl along the ceiling. ♥

flickering and faded, foolish and forgetful, and altogether fucked.

I have grass-green eyes and enough bravery to swallow the world.

‎”There isn’t much that I feel I need: a solid soul, and the blood I bleed.”

when i was sleeping  

what were you whispering?

time & time again

falling levees, falling leaves

of which we speak so casually
chrome eyed cry baby

i’ll do the honors. please, allow me

to do and to do without

the whole truth and nothing but the doubt

when i was leaving

what did you shout?

go find another lover, to bring a, to string along.

So, my little Amélie, you don’t have bones of glass. You can take life’s knocks. If you let this chance pass, eventually, your heart will become as dry and brittle as my skeleton. So, go get him, for Pete’s sake!

“The time has come for her to take some real risks.” “Well yes, she’s thinking about it. She’s thinking of a stratagem.” “Yes, she likes stratagems, doesn’t she? As a matter of fact, She’s a bit of a coward.”

“You know, I dream sometimes about flying. It starts out like I’m running really, really fast and I’m like superhuman and the terrain starts to get really rocky and steep and then I’m running so fast that my feet aren’t even touching the ground! and I’m floating and it’s like this amazing, amazing feeling… I’m free, I’m safe. Then I realise: I’m completely alone. And then I wake up.”

‎”who passed through universities with radiant cool eyes hallucinating Arkansas and Blake-light tragedy among the scholars of war”– ginsberg

time won’t forget
it hammers at your heart
time has only this to say
open your eyes
open your eyes
life is very short, she says to me
too short to be waiting around over me
i don’t mind waiting
for those eyes
for those eyes
time won’t forget
my true love’s magic laugh
time can’t take that
open your eyes
open your eyes
honey, it’s not that long at all


I left all my kinder parts rusting somewhere

Broken hearts want broken necks, I’ve done some things that I want to forget. Sometimes I’m so full of shit that it should be a crime

my zombie haiku

is not very romantic

but you are tasty


Tom: I need to know that you’re not gonna wake up in the morning and feel differently.
Summer: And I can’t give you that. Nobody can.

Either she’s an evil, emotionless, miserable human being, or… she’s a robot.

But, I’m not the only one who let you down.
I’m not the only one who
I’m not the only one who
turned your head around.
Sweet was the wine.
Sweet was the opium-fettered soul,
and I lost control.

Tom: What happened? Why – why didn’t they work out?
Summer: What always happens? Life.

Leaving this behind was my first mistake
and I’m not so strong
to be satisfied by all the things I’ve done
by all the things it threw away.
By all the things it threw away

Let us lose our minds
Its been keeping me awake

‎”Give me your hand, and take what you will tonight. I’ll give it as fast and high as the flame will rise. Cinder and smoke.”

If you fell from the sky you’re no longer high. Shall I bring some weed and an ashtray? Or wait till friday? So what do you say? I have the ability to breathe fire. Shall we blow them away? We’ll send them to their deaths with poetry.

it hurts when i see, i thought that we had a deal? i crack my teeth and my eyes are leaves of grass, still life is the hardest drug, it just lasts to the last. lying in our bed, how we make and we unmake friends.


I guess there’s got to

be a break in the monotony,

but Jesus, when it rains

how it pours.

Throw on your clothes,

here it goes, 
here it goes,

here it goes again.

Oh, here it goes again.

I should have known,
should have known,

should have known again

Summer comes with its colors on to take your breath away, winter turns all the summer’s love to grey – sam beam


I stood on my heart supports thinkin’
“Oh my God, I’ll probably have to carry this whole load.”
I couldn’t remember if I tried
I couldn’t remember if I took my brain out,
threw it so directly at the goal
I couldn’t remember if I…
I could have my mind erased
And still not know exactly what I don’t already know
I guess I’ll pack up my mind
It took so much effort
Not to make an effort
Oh, what a flawless design!
Even as I left, it wasn’t far enough

conversations about the holes in your hands, walk in the garden of man’s desire, conversation about the kingdom of fire

And she went seeking The Dead Ones, the Old Gods, and gave her soul in exchange for her love, and after that she was as one dead.

“i want to know what you were like as a child, were you shy as the devil in love?”

Blow by blow, I didn’t see it coming
Blow by blow, sucker punch
Rushes in
Here to stay
Rushes in
You are here to stay  

What rushes into my heart and my skull, I can’t control
Think about it, feel it in my bones
What rushes into my heart and my skull, I can’t control
I take my heart out of my chest,
I just don’t need it anymore
Take my head out of the game,
I just don’t need it anymore
I feel you in my bones
You’re knocking on my windows
You’re slow to letting me go
And I know this feeling oh, so
This feeling in my bones

Left hook, I didn’t see it coming
Left hook, you’ve got dead aim
Rushes out
Run away
Rushes out
You always run away

“He was beautiful in the ambiguous and reticent way that drives the concubines of kings to shed their half-lost honor and their blossoming lives.” -Babel

time & time again / it’s me & you, and the world is new again / 
we’ve had a few too many / let downs, one too many low blows /
empty words flying like a choir of crows /we don’t know as much as we think we do / 
when the end is the conclusion everyone comes to / 
when the end is the lens that everyone looks through / 
time & time again / 
you blink your eyes & it begins / 
after the same few moves, it’s sure to win. /

All the time we spent in bed
Counting miles before we set
Fall in love and fall apart
Things will end before they start 

Lose our clothes in summer time
Lose ourselves to lose our minds

the heart is not as light as it used to be, not quite
spirit is not as free as it used to be
wheres all your high hope now?
My heart is not as true as it used to be
thats all she wrote
tonight seems so much longer than it used to seem
none of it turned out the way it was supposed to
its been a wild wild ride -paleo

Call, break it off
Call, break my own heart
Maybe I would have been
Something you’d be good at
Maybe you would have been
Something I’d be good at
But now
We’ll never know
I won’t be sad
But in case
I’ll go there
To make myself feel bad
There’s a chance
I’ll start to wonder
If this was the thing to do
I’ll start to wonder
If this was the thing to do

i was just guessing at numbers and figures, pulling the puzzles apart. questions of science, science and progress, do not speak as loud as my heart. come tell me you love me, come back and haunt me, i wanna rush to the stars. running in circles, chasing our tails. nobody said it was easy, oh it’s such a shame for us to part. nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be so hard.

We have grass stains on our eyes from all the world we have to see! We love and then we leave! Oh, forever is a very long time.-paleo

Every kiss was a wish for rain

“The past goes on falling still, a tangle of bones and of roots. What we were, we are not. And with words, although the letters still have transparency and sound, they change, and the mouth changes; another being has occupied our skeleton; what once was in us now is not.” -Neruda

I will throw away your love for me, in a tiny raft in a tiny stream, in a bag full of colors, and new and old and older lovers.

Maybe I’m not a love vigilante. What if I’m the love villain?

Moments become memories from the scars they leave
Yours is the only face I recall from peacetime


I have a knack for setting fires.

from the things i hold close
Am I not right
Am I not right

Remember when I was
So strange and likeable
Remember when I was
Sweet and unexplainable
Nothing like this person,
I just want back in your head
I just want back in your head
I’m not unfaithful
But I’ll stray
When I get a little scared

love and other delusions,



2 Responses to “If love is surrender then whose war is it anyway?”

  1. Anonymous said

    Thank you for continuing to share. Your posts inspire my art, and all other aspects of my life.

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