Balderdash, beards, and fighting bears

and they tell me i have such a peculiar intensity

how much energy could an energy drink drink if an energy could drink oh god

for my sweetheart the melancholic, you have crossed the river styx

still prone to care, making tea in my underwear

(970) I’m sitting in front of the mirror 
eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big.

i don’t want commitment, i just… wanna take bodyshots off of your cleavage

I’m up to my elbows in dead guy

My head is full of stars, so I gave them to the sky.

A friend in need’s a friend indeed,
A friend who’ll tease is better; 
Our thoughts compressed which makes us blessed, 
And makes for stormy weather.

We’ve turned every stone and for all our inventions, 
In matters of love loss, we’ve no recourse at all. Loiter the whole day through and lose yourself in lines dissecting love. – The Shins

You know I talk hustle, from Rio to Brussels

McDonalds, because we all die in the end anyway: You’re mad at yourself, your stomach is rejecting the obviously unholy union swirling around within, and your soul dies a little bit. If you lost your virginity in the closet of a crowded party, then the phenomenon will be immediately familiar to you. You know that, somehow people know what filthy thing you did. They KNOW .

15 minutes for the lapdance, half hour to scrub the guilt off my soul… see you in 45!

You seem like a soldier who’s lost his composure

(781):
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator

I ran screaming out of adolescence, and when I hit the border somebody gave me the legal right to drink–it’s all just finely tuned memory loss since then.

He taught me how to pick and choose, and how to throw the blade.

We use free speech to make guttural grunts

I don’t have commitment issues, I’m a love vigilante!

We now take it as pretty common knowledge that you just don’t mess with Vietnam, even if you’re an immensely powerful and technologically superior nation. They know kung fu, or something, and apparently every time they get invaded they simply level up.

Gideon is in the drawer, clothes scattered on the floor. She’s arching her back, she screams for more.

I dreamed about killing you again last night, and it felt alright to me. Dying on the banks of Embarcadero skies, I sat and watched you bleed. Buried you alive in a fireworks display raining down on me. Your cold heart blood ran away from me, to the sea.

“One of the worst things you can do as an actor, I think, is to forget your lines, and then get flustered and start stabbing the other actors.”

I guess that love was all you wanted, cause you’re givin’ it away like extra change…

Theologians don’t know nothin’ bout my soul.

“… it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people’s hats off – then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can.”– Herman Melville , Moby-Dick

“Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates.” -Mark Twain

There’s one rule that applies to anything and everything in life; If it doesn’t work for you, burn it.

“Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, next to soccer.”

Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships. – Sharon Stone

THE PIXIE DUST PREVAILED!

It is difficult to teach bones to disappear,to teach eyes to close but we do it unrealizing. It was all alive,alive, alive like a scarlet fish but time passed over its dark cloth and the flash of the fish drowned and disappeared. The past goes on falling still, a tangle of bones and of roots. What we were, we are not. And with words, although the letters still have transparency and sound,they change, and the mouth changes; another being has occupied our skeleton; what once was in us now is not.- Pablo Neruda

we are reassembling ourselves, slowly but surely

Are you calm, fitter, healthier and more productive? A pig in a cage on antibiotics?

Poor femininity! All this time we were trying to save you from 
discovering the bitter truth! But you wouldn’t turn back! Now having 
finally balanced career and family, you’ve learned both should be 
avoided. Follow man’s example, you mistresses of the Earth–guzzle beer, hunt gothic monsters and conquer the Indian sub-continent.

She’s bound to run amok.

“In her kind schemes for Elizabeth, she sometimes planned her marrying Colonel Fitzwilliam. He was a pleasant man, he admired her, and his situation in life was most eligible; but, to counterbalance these advantages, Mr. Darcy had a considerably larger head, and thus, more brains to feast upon.”

It’s not too late to feel a little more alive! Make our escape! Before we start to vaporize!

Queen Elizabeth used to fistfight Shakespeare when she was drunk

I want a girl with a mind like a diamond, I want a girl who knows what’s best; I want a girl with shoes that cut and eyes that burn like cigarettes. I want a girl who is fast and thorough and sharp as a tack.

I know you’ve got plenty to offer, baby, but I guess I’ve taken quite enough. I’m some stain, dear, on your bedsheet, you’re my diamond in the rough

“A disease that attacks his brain, heart, and testicles? I think Byron wrote about that.”

(859): I gave him the “yep, I was your girlfriend’s collegiate lesbian 
sex story” head nod

a southern drawl, a world unseen. i’ve got a green light, i got a little fight, gonna turn this thing around. can you read my mind? the good old days, the honest man, the restless heart, the promised land.

when there’s
 nothing left to burn, you have to
 set yourself on fire

Sometimes you have to hang yourself from a tree and put out your eye to get some 
insight.